Mommyhood: Week 3

Tala is softly snoring at the moment which buys me some time to post about the early postpartum weeks.

First two weeks were extremely difficult I have to admit. That period has got to be the most challenging experience of my life. I was physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted. Recovery from a C-Section is absolutely no joke. Could hardly walk, couldn't move...couldn't even sneeze without squirming in pain. On the third day, I was even more of a wreck. I lacked sleep as I had to drag myself all the way to the nursery in the wee hours to breastfeed. I was tired, restless and yes, in so much pain. At some point, call it a momentary postpartum bout of depression if you will, but I found myself bawling in the hospital bathroom and several times after that.

To add to that, I had major breastfeeding problems on the forth day. My nipples were severely wounded from Tala's "power suck" (as I would call it). At some point, all that came out from my breasts were milk tainted with blood. Needless to say I was hysterical! Imagine my baby was drinking that the whole time?! My family was quite alarmed (No thanks to my panicking) that they started making calls to breast milk banks. My mom even went on a hunt for a wet nurse. It was an extremely frustrating day for me but miraculously, on that same evening my breasts just started leaking. From then on, I've been breastfeeding Tala as much as I could.

Unfortunately though, because of what had happened we had to result to infant formula during the time that my breasts were still wounded. And since Tala already had a taste of formula, there are times when she just doesn't seem to be fully satisfied with my milk alone. Now we're on a mixed feeding arrangement but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I can someday breastfeed Tala exclusively.

Looking back at my birth experience, if you ask me if I were to do everything all over again would I have gone the C-section route still? Believe it or not, my answer would be yes. Why so? Two words... Labor pains! I know most moms would probably raise an eyebrow but hey that's me. Especially now that I know that epidurals don't work crap on me... I don't think I'd like to walk the traumatic normal labor path again. I'm glad that I went through trial labor though. At least now I know that I'm really not a normal delivery kind of girl. And nope, I don't feel robbed at all of the experience of not actively participating in the birth process. I honestly don't see it that way. For me, the less trauma, the more I get to appreciate the beauty of the experience. But then again, that is just my opinion. I'm sure a lot of mothers will beg to disagree with me.

Fast forward to week 3, I am starting to get a hang of the late nights, the changing of poopy diapers, the breastfeeding and all the ups and downs that comes with being a new mommy. I'm happy to say that I hardly feel the stitches anymore. In fact, the surgeons did such a great job with my stitches, that you can't even see it! Amazing! I can now go up and down the stairs and can sleep comfortably on both sides (well at least on moments that I can manage to squeeze in some shut-eye). The huge muffin that I lug around my mid-section still bothers me but I'm glad that it's gradually getting smaller by the day.

My mood has improved drastically and I feel more confident as I spend every waking moment with Tala. She maybe quite a riot at times especially when she starts bawling like crazy and I have no clue as to what she wants...but at the end of the day, she's still my baby girl...the fruit of my loins. And with all the sacrifices and pains that come with parenting, looking at her now...peaceful and softly snoring, makes me realize that every difficult step that I had to go through was definitely worth it.